Celebrating Six Months of Sobriety

I've struggled with addictions for about 15 years now. I've walked the path of the dead in search of new life. I told myself lies and believed them. Filling the void was a full-time job and peace came in those fleeting moments when I got the recipe just right. I dropped acid, ate shrooms, popped pills, huffed gas, snorted coke, smoked pot all day, every day and got loaded often. I went to detox the first time when I was 18 and have returned at least a half dozen times. I've been through rehab twice and stayed at a half-way house for women a few years ago. I slipped in and out of NA and AA for over a decade and sought a religious conversion by grasping the coattails of more enlightened friends. I was a sick puppy.

My addiction to pot was the hardest one to break and when I finally gave it up completely my attention turned to booze. Although I wasn't a daily drinker in the end I was spending more days drunk than sober in the run of a week. My alcoholism was masked by an appearance of functional living. I earned two college degrees and maintained employment. I didn't get in bar brawls or end up in the drunk tank, paid my bills and kept a tidy appearance and home. During my pregnancy I was able to swear off all addictive substances without a second thought. However, within a few months of the birth of my daughter I started the downward spiral once again. My husband and I were going through tough times and he initiated a separation that lasted several months. During that time I came face to face with the ugliness of my addiction and promised myself I was ready to change. I celebrated my first day sober on Valentine's Day of this year.

I've been attending a women's AA group that has helped immensely but my biggest source of support has come from my husband and daughter. More than anyone my daughter gives me the motivation and my husband gives me the strength to stay sober. I don't think I could do it without both of them. Before my daughter was born I had the strength in my husband but not enough motivation. After her birth, when my husband left, I had the motivation but not enough strength. Together they give me life. I know that there will come a time when I will have enough respect for my recovery and faith in my Higher Power to endure without their influence but in the early days their presence was/is critical. I'm very blessed and excited to be celebrating six months of sobriety today!

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